


In Good Company

by GothicPrincessWitch



Series: Fenhawke Tumblr Drabbles [14]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, M/M, Not quite hurt/comfort, PTSD, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Silent Comfort, not quite hurt not quite comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 07:06:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12360243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicPrincessWitch/pseuds/GothicPrincessWitch
Summary: Fenris and Hawke both suffer from frequent nightmares, and there's not always a way for either of them to comfort the other. Sometimes just being in each other's company is all they can do.





	In Good Company

**Author's Note:**

> This one is specially dedicated to my wonderful friends and enablers, theoxfordcommando and stitchcasual. I love you both.

When he awakens, shaking and sweating and heart racing, Fenris instinctively claps a hand over his mouth as he chokes off a scream.

Another nightmare.

It doesn’t seem to matter that Danarius is dead and gone, for Fenris is still marked by his past, and the nightmares haven’t ceased. Thus far he’s kept Hawke in the dark as to the frequency and intensity of the nightmares. Hawke worries too much. Hawke always worries too much, with enough burdens of his own, the weight of an entire city crushing his shoulders, that Fenris has no desire to add to those burdens. So he’s been careful when he wakes from nightmares, trying to keep still, trying to keep from crying out, trying to keep Hawke from noticing.

Tonight, however, is different, Fenris realizes as he takes a few deep breaths to steady himself. In the faint glow of his lyrium, he can discern that the space of the bed beside him is empty and cold. Hawke hasn’t been here for hours possibly. Concern for Hawke overshadows the lingering fear from the memories – nightmare– what he doesn’t want to think about, and he clambers out of bed, pausing only to switch his sweat-soaked shirt for Hawke’s.

Fenris isn’t the only one plagued by nightmares, after all.

Hawke worries too much, far too much, about not being enough, about not doing enough, and he takes every failure, every death, every person he wasn’t able to save to heart. For all that he calls himself heartless, he’s wrong; he’s far too hard on himself, really, and all the worry and the guilt and the regret and the “Why couldn’t I have been better?” crush him relentlessly.

Fenris finds Hawke in his study, sitting in an armchair and staring into the fire. Hawke is still in his nightclothes, and eyes are dark and haunted and the same color as the whiskey in the glass he holds. At the sound of Fenris’s entrance, Hawke looks up, and Fenris can see Hawke try to smooth away his fear and regret, masking it behind a cavalier smile, but that gnawing worry still lingers in his eyes, and it makes Fenris’s heart ache to see it.

“Did I wake you?” asks Hawke. With his empty hand he reaches out to Fenris, offering to take Fenris’s hand and pull him into his lap, but with the memory of unwanted hands still fresh in his mind from that nightmare, Fenris can’t bear to be touched right now. With a slight shake of his head Fenris declines and takes a seat in the chair beside Hawke’s. He doesn’t have to look up to know Hawke is looking at him with concern gleaming in his eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” asks Hawke.

“No,” says Fenris, a bit more tersely than intended. He turns to Hawke and queries, “Do you?”

Kaffas, Fenris curses silently to himself. After six years, after Bethany’s death, after Leandra’s, he should be better at finding the words to comfort Hawke, but words elude him at present.

Hawke takes a long sip of his drink before answering. “No.”

He picks up the cut glass decanter from the table beside him and pours himself another shot’s worth of whiskey. Wordlessly he offers a glass to Fenris, who accepts and sips it hesitantly. Fenris does not want to get drunk enough to fall back asleep and return to that nightmare, but a little alcohol will take the edge off, will help him feel less afraid, less violated. It’s irrational to feel this way. Danarius is gone; he can’t ever come back and hurt Fenris again. But knowing this does not banish the nightmare’s lingering presence.

Sitting beside Hawke, however, helps a little, even in silence. There aren’t really any words to say to comfort each other. There aren’t any words to be said. But neither of them truly wants to be alone right now. So they sit beside each other and drink, drawing strength and support from the other’s presence. Some nights, many nights really, that’s all they can do for each other, but it’s enough just to be there.

A few hours of silence pass, and eventually Hawke stands and yawns. “I think I’m going to return to bed,” he says. “Care to join me?” He offers his hand to Fenris again

Always asking, never taking. Always offering, never expecting. That is always at the heart of their relationship.

Fenris gingerly entwines his fingers with Hawke’s and rises to his feet. “Provided I’m in your company, I would like that.”

Hawke’s smile returns, less shadowed this time, as he says playfully, “You’re in luck because I happen to be the greatest of company, particularly in bed.”

Fenris chuckles, low and deep, and squeezes Hawke’s hand as comfortingly as he can.

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on Tumblr.


End file.
